… a statement we’ve all heard at some point across this fat and spoiled continent, most likely in a fast food joint.
This past weekend, while out for brunch (see “Stuff white people like” www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com), ‘Mother Nature’ /aka Gaia /aka ‘The Goddess’TM, etc. came calling, and off to the ‘lieu’ we went (I know how it sounds, but it wasn’t like that — get your mind out of the gutter!).
As I stood there, thinking (among other things), I couldn’t help but notice the presence of, and then question the ‘wisdom’ behind needing to fill a urinal basin with fresh ice cubes?!
(My male readers will undoubtedly relate to this phenomenon, and yes, girls — this does actually happenat “fine restaurants” and bars everywhere)
When I returned to the table, the absurdity lingered, and I mentioned it to my ‘galPal’TM, who was understandably surprised by this practice.
As most of you are aware, this is the week that Toronto will host one of the largest geo-political events to date: the G20 Summit. Along with the puffed up politicians from as many countries, there will be an accompanying litany of strident protesters — like reverse groupies, almost.
In addition to poverty, globalization, and bad fashion sense (shame on you, fur trade), the opposition will also be lamenting the shortage of clean water in third world and developing countries. A serious concern indeed. I’m sensing that you’re with me.
So I’m pissing on what a villager somewhere else would — with desperate gratitude — gladly trade for a “shiny stone” they happened to find in the parched and depleted soil of their arid climate.
That very stone — depending upon it’s size and weight — could, in the wacky west, afford me a mansion, the car of my dreams, early retirement, and likely a personalized squad of *cheerleaders to help me enjoy it all…
*(yeah, like from an “adult” film.)
One thing I would NOT have to concern myself with on this hypothetical spending spree would be the business of locating fresh, clean water… nor would I have to pay a dime for it: hell, every up-scale establishment from here to L.A would have urinals full of it, available to me just like the complimentary mints in the porcelain bowls at the maitre d’ stations of said places…
How skewed this picture is:
For those of you who have seen the documentaries ‘Flow’ and/or ‘Blue Gold’, which deal with the water shortage/crisis facing most of the world’s population, there might be an extra layer of contempt for this practice. For those of you who haven’t, please do…
… you might find yourself giving those who fore-go the ice (when ordering colossal portions of liquid sugar) a ‘pass’.
Theatre of the absurd.
(sidenote: It’s raining again. Yummmmmmm)
Jon Mychal — Toronto/June 22 2010
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